Angie's Blog

Shell Girl and the Black Storm

2009-04-18T18:47:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a girl who lived in a shell. She was small and light and she had a voice that sounded like the breeze. The shell was warm and smooth, and lay day after day on the sandy beach of the Seneca Bay. When night came and the seagulls slept, the song of the sea harmonized with the girl's sleeping breath, and even Poseidon was lulled. Truly a beautiful sound, the shell projected her voice for miles in every direction. It was even heard on the 12 islands of Tanuket, a cluster of small islands that used to be one many years ago, before the sea welcomed the Black Storm.

The Black Storm had changed many things in Seneca Bay, but the most dramatic change was the sky. Torn in peices, it hung like shrouds and even dipped into the sea when the wind stopped blowing them to and fro.

It was during the Black Storm that the girl climbed inside the shell, for she had to find shelter or she would have blown away like the rest of the light things on the beach. The shell was small but heavy, and it was lodged in the sand where a man had once built a platform for selling goods during the summer months. The top of the platform sheltered the shell and kept the wind from blowing it away.

Every now and then, the girl would crawl out of the shell to find food and drink, but always to the shell she returned when she felt the first hint of a breeze. The Black Storm had not left room for peace of mind, and the sky was a constant reminder of that.

She often wondered where her loved ones had blown away to, and thought many times that they might be on one of the 12 islands, but she dared not to enter the sea to travel there, for she was too scared to swim and she did not have a boat. So instead she sang inside her shell, hoping the sound of her voice would carry far enough for them to hear.

All around Seneca Bay, the Heavy Ones listened in wonder when she sang. These Heavy Ones had made themselves heavy by eating rocks, for they were afraid of being swept up in the next big storm. They were not used to hearing such a light sound, and their heavy ears and heavy hearts would delight in it. So that they would not loose it to the wind, they caught the songs in metal boxes and buried them in the sand, far from the threat of a returning storm. They did this with every light thing left on the island, and they took comfort in knowing that their heavy bodies sat above everything light, keeping it all safe and protected.

However, several of the Heavy Ones did not like this idea. They argued that keeping everything light beneath the ground no longer made it light- that once these objects, sounds, sights, and feelings were inside metal boxes and buried in the earth, they became heavy just like everything else. They longed to dig up the light things, and they longed to hear the songs above ground, in the freedom of the air. When these Heavy Ones vioced their opinions, the other Heavy Ones, who called themselves the Protectors, would point to the sky and say, "Do you not remember the Black Storm? Do you not remember what happened to everything light and good on this land?"

In reply, the Heavy Ones who disagreed, who called themselves the Trusters, said that there was no proof that anything light had disappeared, but rather that they had blown to a new location. Further, they argued, how could one deny the presence of a light thing when they heard the songs? Surely this must come from something light, and surely they would find this thing and bring it back as proof.

So for days the Trusters waited for a song, and finally one began to swell up from the shell float across the breeze to the Heavy Ones. The Trusters began their journey at once and found nothing but a heavy shell. Upset that they had only found something heavy, they picked it up and threw it into the water, where it sank to the bottom.

Standing on the platform, a Truster began to remember a man who used to sell goods during the summer months. He sold kites and trinkets and nets for fishing. The kites and trinkets had blown away during the black storm, but the nets were strewn all over the beach. This truster had a sudden realization which brought joy to his heart. They did not blow away because they had holes! They did not blow away because they did not resist the wind! They allowed for it, and they were spared!

As this Truster was relaying his epiphany to the others, the girl was struggling at the bottom of the sea to free herself from inside the heavy shell. She began to realize that the protection the shell had provided had become a trap, and she vowed to never hide inside anything heavy ever again if she broke free. She thought about all the time she had wasted in the shell, and all of the life she had not lived for fear of another storm. She thougth of her friends and family who disapeared in the storm, and she remembered that they all reacted differently. Some were fighting the wind- flailing thier arms and legs and screaming for help. Others were bewildered and seemed in shock. But the ones that she remembered most were the peaceful ones- the ones who seemed to almost comply with the wind by puffing out thier shirts like kites and manuevering this way and that when able. While she fought inside her heavy shell, she remembered those peaceful ones, and she began to understand them. She let out one last long sigh, and it was heard by the Trusters, and they realized what they had done.

The Trusters returned to the Protectors with nets in hand and a truth on their lips. Light things are spared in storms when they allow the wind to blow through them. They blow away when they don't. But even when they blow away, they can end up on beautiful islands. It is only when they try to avoid the storm that they end up at the bottom of the sea.

Years went by, and most of the Heavy Ones got lighter and lighter, for they stopped eating rocks and started to dig up the metal boxes and set every light thing free. There were those who were still afraid of being light, so they ate rocks and sat all day in thier heaviness. One day the sky turned black and the winds began to blow. The heavy ones sat down in preparation and told the light ones that their day had finally come. But just as the winds carried the light ones up to the sky, the ground broke into islands and the heavy ones sank into the sea. The light ones grabbed onto the shrouds of the sky and make their way to safety on beautiful islands, where they met other light ones and, eventually, other storms.

Bedtime story.

2009-02-23T01:34:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was a tiny tree nymph who was thin and as floppy as a stretched out piece of chewing gum. She dreamed of someday living in a tree, but she was too weak to even sit up, let alone climb, and she felt destined to stick to the ground forever.

One day a leopard ran through the jungle, with one tail acting as a fourth leg, and black spots on his coat that were really holes. He saw the nymph on the ground and knew that she did not belong there. He found her to be beautiful and wanted to be friends with her forever in the jungle.

"I see you on the ground, and I feel that you must need a helping hand," said the leopard.

"Oh, yes! I am very grateful for your kind concern. I do in fact need to find a way to be on my feet, but it seems that I was stretched at some time, and I am very weak and quite flimsy. I desire to live in a tree, but I fear I will never climb!"

"Well," replied the leopard, "I am strong and stable, as you can see. I have four legs and am solid to the core. Let me lift you and I will put you on my back. I can climb the tree and we will live there and be friends in the jungle forever."

The nymph thought a moment and saw that this might be good, but wondered at the possibility of never being able to do this thing on her own.

"No," decided nymph. "I would rather learn to climb on my own. Besides, it would be a burden if you had to carry me around. And I would grow weak and never learn to be a grown nymph or to climb a tree, where I belong. But I, too, would like to be friends forever in the jungle!"

"I will teach you," said leopard. "I will show you how I use my four legs and I will show you how I stay so solid. Soon you will walk beside me and we will both climb and be friends forever in the jungle."

At this, nymph decided to crawl and flop, crawl and flop onto leopard's back. She inched her way to the top and saw the sky for the first time. Leopard began to run and she felt the wind and she was happy. He began to jump and she heard the distance of the ground and smiled and laughed. She felt big. She felt fast. She was moving through the air.

She heard a buzz as a fly approached her. She was just thinking how exciting it was to finally be close to a flying creature, when leopard's tail flew up and swatted the fly from view. A feeling of unbalance came over nymph, and she realized that the leopard had only three legs. She felt scared and asked the leopard, "Why do you fake like you have four legs? "

Leopard growled and and said he was fine. He had four legs and she must be mistaken.

Again the balance was restored and the wind calmed her nerves. She felt big. She felt fast. She was moving through the air.

The day was slipping away, and the moon was full in the sky. Lightening bugs of every size and shape appeared to nymph's delight. She flopped on her back and saw one land by her foot. Leopard's tail flew up and abruptly squashed the bug, spilling the glow all over his own back. Balance was lost, and nymph again became aware that Leopard had only three legs.

"Leopard, why do you hide from me that you only have three legs? We are friends and you know that I have my weaknesses also. Why not share with me and be friends forever in the jungle?"

"I have three legs, is what you say. I guess I might. I make do with my tail, and that's what you should know. You are safe now."

With this, he continued running through the jungle. Nymph felt the wind and was happy. She felt big. She felt fast. She was moving through the air.

Nymph flopped back over onto her stomach and noticed the leopard's spots. The glow from the squished bug lit them up and revealed that they were hollow.

"Leopard, why did you say you were solid? I am weak and stretched and do not move about like I should. I know how to be your friend in weakness, and wish to be friends with you forever in the jungle. You have holes and I am laying on your back. Let me fill them, for I might fall into one and it will be dark."

"Nymph, you do not see right. I have spots. I am solid. You are safe and we will be friends forever in the Jungle."

Leopard jumped and trotted and ran, and Nymph felt the wind and was happy. She felt big. She felt fast. She was moving through the air.

And then she fell into a spot, and it was dark.

"Leopard! Leopard! I am scared! I have fallen into one of your spots that you said was solid! I am weak and I am floppy and I can not pull myself out!"

"Nymph! I am sorry! That was a lie I told you! Yes, I have holes. I am not solid and I do not have four legs. But I am running through the jungle and we will now be friends forever!"

But Nymph did not feel the wind and was sad. She felt small. She felt scared. She felt alone.

"Leopard! Leopard! Please let me out! I am scared and it is dark and I must find the sky again!"

"I cannot make myself solid, and I do not have four legs. I can not pull you out and I wish to be friends forever in the jungle."

Nymph considered this thing. She looked around and flopped on her back. It was true that she had a small view of the sky. It was true that she could still feel that she was moving. It was true that the ground was still far away. She could stay here. She could stay here forever.

But she still could not climb, and she would never live in a tree where she belonged. Besides, she could not see leopard's face and this made her sad and lonely. She did not feel that they could be friends this way.

She flopped and flopped and twisted and turned. She moved and stretched and finally....

she sat up.

She flopped and flopped and twisted and turned. She moved and stretched and finally...

she stood up.

She flopped and flopped and twisted and turned. She moved and stretched and finally...

she pulled herself out of the spot.

Leopard felt this and he was quite sad.

"Nymph, why are you leaving my spot? I though we would be friends in the jungle forever!"

"Leopard, I do not want to live inside your spot. I want to learn to climb and live in a tree where I belong. Can we do this together like you have promised, and be friends forever in the jungle?"

"I do not like you to see that I have 3 legs. I do not like you to know that I am not solid. I will not fill my spots to make them solid and I will not walk on three legs."

It got cold and the wind blew through the jungle fiercely. Leopard was cold and could not keep warm.

"Leopard, it is your holes, which you call spots, that are making it hard for you to stay warm. You need to fill your spots to keep the wind from blowing through you!"

"I am not cold. I will fill my spots when you come back inside. Don't you remember that you filled my spots? I would not be so cold if you did not leave."

"No, leopard, no. I will not go back. I like to walk beside you and I want to be out in the open to feel the wind on my face. You can be warm if you just fill your spots."

And this went on and on, and leopard and nymph both got angry.

Frustrated, nymph, to her own surprise, found the strength to climb a tree. She climbed to the top and felt the wind on her face and was happy. She remembered the leopard and all that he had done for her, and how she felt the wind the first time when she was on his back.

"Leopard, come up here. The sky is beautiful and I want to be friends in the jungle forever."

"I cannot. I have three legs, and I cannot climb. Besides, I am cold and I need to rest to get warm."

"Fill your spots, leopard! If you do this you will be warm. And I am strong now, I can help you up the tree. You will feel the wind on your face and be happy, not cold!"

"I will not do this, nymph. I want to be in the tree, but I don't want to be cold when the wind blows up there. Just come down and get in my spot and you can keep me warm and we will be friends forever in the jungle."

Nymph began to climb down, because she loved leopard. She wondered if being inside leopard's spot would be better than being in the tree where she belonged. But just then a bird flew by.

"Nymph," said the bird, "why are you climbing down? Don't you know you are in the tree where you belong?"

"But I miss leopard and I am sad that he is cold!"

"He is cold because he has holes which he made himself long ago. He still has those holes and he can fill them anytime he wishes. He holds those holes in his fourth leg, which he keeps curled close to his belly so he can keep them safe."

"Why does he do this, wise bird? Doesn't he want to be warm? Doesn't he want four legs?"

"He has forgotten how to be solid. He has forgotten to walk without his tail. He is scared to be slow and heavy."

At this, nymph called out again to leopard, "Leopard! Leopard! Let down your fourth leg! You have your holes in them to fill your spots! You will be warm and be able to climb to be near me! I miss you and I want to be friends forever in the jungle!"

"I do not have a fourth leg, as I have told you. I do not have the holes to fill my spots. I am this way and I cannot be warm unless you come back. I am this way and I cannot climb."

This made nymph cry and cry. She know knew that leopard could climb and be warm, but that he was choosing not to. She cried and cried and repeated her plea. She cried and cried and asked him to just try.

He tried to climb with three legs. He tried to stuff his spots with leaves.

He would not let down the fourth leg. He would not replace the holes he had made.

Time went by and she stayed in the tree. Time went by and he stayed on the ground.

The weather got warmer and leopard felt better.

"I am not cold anymore nymph! I do not need to fill my spots!"

"But the weather will not always stay warm, leopard. And you still cannot climb without your fourth leg."

"You said you would help me, so help me now. I am ready for you to pull me up."

"I will gladly help you if you stuff your spots. I will gladly be your fourth leg forever."

"I do not want to stuff my spots. I do not have a fourth leg."

At this Nymph gave up. She climbed to the very top of the tree. She felt the wind on her face.

But she was still sad.

It would probably be a long time until she could be happy again.

Fary Scears.

2009-02-10T12:46:00.000-08:00

I have too many fears. I have decided that this is the year to conquer them. I have already flown on a Mexican Airline over the ocean and survived. I have lost something that I never wanted to loose. Actually more than one. I am finally taking the math class that I have dreaded forever. I have stepped out of my comfort zone and reached out to people I don't know.

Next on the list:

Make art.

Get in shape. Yes, I'm thin. But I've never had one muscle that can do anything other than get me out of bed and open the fridge.

Get a responsible job and pay my own bills.

Enjoy alone time.

Fly in a spaceship.

Go to the Dentist.

Take a hip hop class.

Be naked in public. Just kidding.

Go on an upside down roller coaster.

Wish me luck.

My 25 Randoms

2009-02-06T21:16:00.000-08:00

You gotta love Facebook.

1. I have three favorite childhood memories that I think about daily: laying on the grass looking at the sky, floating like a star in the pool (with the help of my Dad) and looking at the sky. and walking around the block at sundown on my Dad's shoulders looking at the sky.

2. I don't look at the sky as much as I should anymore.

3. My heart beats fast when I think about painting, dancing, writing, or sculpting things. I think that's a good sign I should do more of that stuff.

4. Warm toast with salty butter is most of what I eat these days. I'm lazy and broke and I just really like toast.

5. I have a tendency to gain weight around the middle, but nowhere else. If I let myself go I end up looking like Spongebob Squarepants.

6. I have a fascination with Patricia Arquette's teeth. I think she has the most attractive mouth. When I was a teenager I swore that someday I would get braces to push out my fangs and flatten my front teeth.

7. I have a goal to be as self-sufficient as possible by someday owning enough land to plant a garden and keep some chickens and cows.

8. I will someday build a tree house that is elaborate enough to fulfill all of my childhood yearnings. And it will put the Swiss Family Robinsons to shame.

9. I think The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn could be my favorite book of all time. I reread it every once in a while and it just reaffirms that fact.

10. I used to be more insecure about my looks, and as I get older I'm more insecure about my character. It's kinda funny because I actually get jealous of old people because they are so dang knowledgeable and have mastered themselves so much better than I have. I used to feel that way about the girl in the cool outfit.

11. I wish I was witty. I'm the most unfunny person I know.

12. I don't like being the center of attention, but sometimes I still get jealous if someone else is.

13. I'm trustworthy and a really good friend.

14. My hands have been old and wrinkly looking my whole life and I used to get free palm readings from a psychic in Santa Cruz every week because of it.

15. When I get really stressed out I have spider nightmares.

16. When I get really stressed out sometimes I still suck my thumb. Forget you know that.

17. I accidentally cooked my Blackberry a few weeks ago. Multitasking in the kitchen.

18. I have crushes on women. Not the kind you think. I'd rather study them and be their best friend then kiss them. Besides, as I've already mentioned most of them are ladies in their sixties.

19. I'm 29 and I still feel weird calling myself a woman. I think that says something about the society I was raised in.

20. I believe in modest dress and feel that it shows self-respect when you cover your body with adequate clothing, however I have urges to run around naked daily. I hope that in the celestial kingdom we will be so righteous-minded that we can all just be naked. Anyway, I can't really imagine a factory in heaven. Or a sewing machine.

21. I have tattoos and I wish I didn't.

22. I'm a former liberal feminist punk-rocker atheist who is now a member of the LDS church. Yeah, it's been a wild ride.

23. I wish every person on this earth could experience the peace that I felt the day I was baptized, and could know the knowledge and love found I found in the Temple.

24. I don't have a best friend. I have friends that are the best.

25. I am blessed.

Today.

2009-02-05T15:00:00.000-08:00

Sleep until noon.

Put on workout clothes.

Eat cereal.

See cookie recipe on rice milk carton.

Make cookies.

Work out for 20 minutes.

Eat cookies.

Go to computer to do homework.

Get on Facebook.

Get off Facebook to do homework.

Blog about what I'm doing instead of homework.

..........I want another cookie.

Heroes

2009-01-29T22:20:00.000-08:00

Many, many years ago... in the days of fruit roll ups and friendship bracelets, I chose heroes. They were sparkly and pretty and sometimes they talked when you pushed a button. They were animated on Saturday mornings and they were in my books at night time and they snuggled with me when I was sad.

In the days of writing on your Keds and gossiping for attention, I chose heroes. They had pretty hair and sharp tongues and their Moms bought them Guess jeans. They were found in front of The Wall at lunch and they always bought their food from the snack bar.

In the days of Led Zeppelin and meeting at The Park for lunch, I chose heroes. They were pretty without trying, fashionable without fussing, and cooler than you could ever dream of being. They drove cars and drank and sometimes did both at the same time. They had tan lines and boyfriends who threw parties and knew the best place to get beer.

In the days of freedom from parents and splitting utilities, I chose heroes. They knew obscure bands and obscure thrift stores and held obscure political/social beliefs. They were "unique" with matching "look-at-me" hairstyles and converse shoes.

In the days of disillusionment, I looked around for heroes. I was in my early twenties and wanted to find something to believe in. I looked in bars and coffee shops and colleges and art galleries and ashrams and churches and books.

Skip forward.

Today, in the days where I know I am a child of God, I have more heroes than ever. I am overwhelmed at how many heroic people I witness every day. I am constantly in awe of them. They walk upright in spite of heavy burdens. They turn the other cheek. They sacrifice. They care. They forgo the excuse and they accept responsibility. They endure. They serve when they are weary. They laugh when they face trials. They cry when they need to. They overcome fears and barriers. And they do all this without sparkles. As a matter of fact, if you don't look close enough- if you aren't paying attention, you just might miss them. You have to train your eye to see them and to recognize them.

But they are everywhere and they are my heroes.

Bad. Bad. Bad Week.

2009-01-27T15:07:00.000-08:00

Have you ever read the Iliad? Well, you know how the Gods are just so catty and emotionally unstable, but their decisions effect the lives of the mortals?

Ok, well I'm beginning to think that there really is some weird incestuous group of bipolar Gods who have decided my fate for the last week. I don't know what the hell I've done to offend them but maybe I should sacrifice a goat or something because I'm about to loose it.

I will give a short list of what I have been through in the last 5 days:

Stranded in Mexico with just the clothes on my back. Which ended up being little more than a bathing suit. No passport. No money. No phone.

Loosing expensive belongings on a cruise ship that I will never get back.

Getting a traffic violation ticket for something rediculous.

Loosing my wedding ring.

And some other really horrible occurances that are too private for a blog post.

So, grey-eyed Athena, lay off a bit.

Ummm.....Hi.

2009-01-13T14:00:00.000-08:00

I've become a bit of an introvert lately. And I guess this blog has somehow symbolized another human being to me, because I've been avoiding it also.

But I'm back. And I'm ready to have friends again.

So, hi. My name is Angie. What's yours?

Oh, and I'm kinda shy.

And really weird.

Hope that's ok with you.

Wanna build a fort?

Or make some raw food?

Or go to the bookstore and look for craft ideas and do them?

Or go on a midnight bike ride and find a roof to climb up on and make a secret club that does secret stuff up there? Like throw things on people or play like we're in a spaceship?

Or paint something?

Or make prank phone calls?

Or dress up like a zombie and ride around town?

Or just come over and play with me?

Fashion Crisis

2008-12-06T16:29:00.000-08:00

So I've been pondering the original purpose behind this blog, and realizing that I have made a mess of it. My intent was to make a list of goals, which I did here, and then publicly record my progress. I guess I've gone a little astray, as I don't even remember much about what that list said. I don't even know if it's still relevant to what I want today in my life, so I might even revise the list a bit.

One thing that I do remember is my desire to become a bit more stylish. I guess this one is on hold for a few reasons, the most important being funds of course. (Feel free to nominate me for What Not to Wear...) But another reason is that I still don't really know what I would like to express about myself- I mean who I would like to become more of. Last year it seemed all I wore was professional attire due to work. I guess what I wanted then was to make money.

Today I want to be comfortable. I want to honor my natural beauty and talents. I want to explore looking out more than looking in. I want to recognize quirkiness as perfection, and perfection as relative. I want to rediscover mornings as a time of meditation, instead of a time for alteration.

However, with that said, I want to find balance and harmony in design and nature. What I mean is that I want some alteration of the product that wakes up with frizzy hair, bad breath, and an oily face. I want some progress past my Uggs and hoodie sweatshirts. Yet, I cannot tell you how much I love the idea of waking up, throwing on the most comfortable thing in my closet, brushing my teeth, and walking out the door to start my day. I should have been an Indian. With a toothbrush.

Like I said, I do want to focus on being more "put together," whatever that means. I refuse to believe that I have to be uncomfortable to achieve it, so I am going on the hunt for designers that make comfortable clothes that are innovative and quirky and practical. I want to stay away from sports clothing, skateboard/surf designers (Billabong, will you please confine yourself to 16 and younger? Get your logo'd sleeves and candy-colored accessories off of the twenty-somethings!), and pu-leeze- no spandex. I have been down that road and I don't want to look back, unless it's for exercise or sleepwear.

At this time I will open up the suggestion box for contributions. Again, I'm looking for designers/labels who are

1. Comfortable
2. Quirky/Fun
3. Not exclusively fit for teenagers
4. Practical (especially for Utah winters. However, every piece does not need to fit this requirement.)
5. Modest

Some examples of a label I really like: Filly and Prairie Underground (although I would make some alterations to make their designs a bit more modest).

Fannie Brice - It's Gorgeous to be Graceful

2008-11-29T20:15:00.001-08:00

This weekend I spend many hours laying around watching old movies. This clip is from "Be Yourself," a 1930 film starring Fannie Brice. Fannie has to be one of the funniest people who ever lived. I spent the rest of the weekend watching youtube clips of her.

As you can tell, I really need to get a life. Actually, I think I just got hired somewhere, but we'll see. I'm still waiting for the final call.

Well I hope you all had a fun Thanksgiving and enjoyed a lazy weekend like I did.

Why I voted for Prop. 2

2008-11-12T12:37:00.000-08:00

And I quote, "KFC, that's foul!"

Confessions of a Stinky Woman

2008-11-05T12:22:00.000-08:00

All apologies for the lack of posts as of late. School and a California trip are the culprits.

Due to a pressing school assignment, I have to keep this short and sweet. But I feel like I need to get something off my chest. Or at least that region. You'll understand in a second.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Wait...

Ok.

Here it goes.

My confession.

Right.

Now.

I don't wear deodorant. I haven't in about 8 years or so. I've never had a problem with BO, and I've always believed that the chemicals in deodorant are bad for the body- especially when you put those chemicals on a place that absorbs as much as your armpits do. My mother had cancer twice (ovarian and breast), so I don't take carcinogens lightly. I also think that anti-perspirants are horrible. I mean, if your body wants to sweat, let it sweat. The good Lord made us that way for a reason.

Well, I mentioned that I've never had BO. That is, until now. Suddenly I have noticed a slight, well... you know. And I'm horrified by the thought of being stinky.

Just a side note here: I think I'm starting to smell because I'm too poor to eat as many fresh veggies as I used to. The lesson here is: Hamburger Helper= stinky pits.

Ok, so last week after an especially long jog I was breathing in myself and I decided enough is enough already. So I decided to search for an all-natural deodorant. I've tried Tom's and some weird purple crystal concoction, but didn't like either very much.

I google searched "natural deodorant" and this is what I found.

A diamond in the rough. A miraculous miracle of a product. Aluminum Free, Paraben free, Phthalates free, Proplene Glycol Free, Cruelty Free and Vegan.

And it smells like creamsicles. Yum.

I am in love.

This deodorant is made by a breast cancer survivor. She makes a skin cream and a hair and scalp revival serum also. Her story is pretty amazing. Here's the link to find out more.

Cimarron

2008-10-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been experiencing an intense nostalgia for all things from my childhood. It started with a sequence of dreams about the first house my family lived in- a home I grew to 14 years of age in. After that, we moved to the "rich" side of town, aka California Park.

California Park is a housing development built on a man-made swamp of a lake, which somehow gave the developers an excuse to give each property a half-scoop of backyard. It's like, they thought that we'd all be hanging out at the lake after work and school. Hanging out with the dead fish on the banks. Who would ever want a pool, anyway, when you can take out a little paddle boat and make lines through the green film on the surface of the lake?

Anyhow, our California Park home was beautiful from the outside- a replica of an old Victorian complete with a white porch and swing. The inside, however, was undecorated for the most part due to the mortgage not leaving much room for that sort of thing. This whole scenario is in stark contrast to the old home. We'll call that one Cimarron.

Cimarron was a track home. I remember feeling like I had walked into another dimension the first time I visited Robyn, my friend who lived around the corner. Her home was exactly like mine!

How could this be? This is my house! How did you get one made to look just like it?

I didn't understand that all of the homes in my neighborhood were examples of one of three Drake Home models. Later I enjoyed visiting my "other homes" to see the endless decorating possibilities.

Cimarron wasn't much to look at on the outside, and even the inside was a cozy middle-class cliche of mauves and floral wallpaper. My mother's rattan shelves displayed her unicorn collection and white porcelain praying hands. The entry way let to an arch-framed Japanese Room, as we called it, that housed oriental-print couches and Japanese figurines galore. The crowning jewel of this room was the Geisha doll that stood forever posing in her glass case. The fans on the wall seemed to be the backdrop of her stage, and I would sit watching her quiet performance, dreaming of a Japan who's sky consisted of fireworks and dragons. Also in this room was my parent's reel-to-reel. I gauged my maturing body by how well the oversized earphones fit on my head. About the time I no longer had to hold them to my ears was about the same time I could sing Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven all the way through.

Years later I would loose a friend in a car accident who's favorite song was Stairway. In remembrance of him, I would sit for hours in the Japanese room listening and crying. The static on the song would always make me think he was trying to communicate back somehow. I would listen and pretend he was telling me that he was fine.

My favorite part of Cimarron had to be the backyard. It was a child's paradise, complete with a pool, hot tub, deck, swing set, playing field, fruit trees, and a secret garden for tea parties. At night I would go explore my kingdom while my parents slept. Possessing courage only children have, I would walk around the pool with eyes closed, feeling my way on the narrow edge with my toes. I would run around the yard and spin in place while looking up at the stars, pretending the whirling was getting me closer and closer to space. The swing set hung from the moon, as far as I was concerned, and all I needed to do was kick off a little harder to find out.

I miss the magic of childhood. I want it back.

What things do you do to recapture the magic?

Or am I the only one who thinks about these kinds of things?

I'm Not Normal

2008-10-20T14:53:00.000-07:00

Last night I realized something: I am not normal.

Or at least, I don't think I am. Maybe you can tell me?

Let me explain:

Since childhood, I have been plagued by an irrational fear of situations that really only happen in horror films. This fear is set on a circadian cycle, resuming every night around around 11:30 or so. It used to start at sundown, but now I have a husband who's mere presence wards off these strange happenings. That is, until he falls asleep. At around 11:30.

Thinking back, I can blame a common origin for most of these fears: The movies It, Nightmare on Elm Street, Psycho, Child's Play, Poltergeist, and The Exorcist. I think these movies have influenced me more than any single bit of media I've ever been exposed to. My nightly rituals are so rigidly structured due to these movies. Let me share some with you.

I have a bottle of visine in my medicine cabinet that I use almost every night. I don't have dry eyes. I don't wear contacts. I use it to soothe my eyes from the soap.

The soap?

Yes. The soap. The soap that gets in my eyes every night. From washing my face. From opening my eyes while I'm washing my face. Because I'm too afraid to hunch over a drain with my eyes closed. Because the It lives down there. And he will kill me. And then he will make my blood shoot out of someones sink. And I really don't want anyone else to have to buy endless bottles of visine. I think it's already a product that's way too heavily used. I mean, they haven't proved it but I think it might be addictive.

Moving on.

I go through towels like mad. I seriously waste so much laundry detergent on towel-washing. Because I always have to soak up the water on the floor after my showers. Because I take showers mostly without the curtain drawn. Because that way I can see Norman before he can take me by surprise. Because I'd rather know I'm getting stabbed then have to watch it as a blood-squirted shadow on the side of the shower wall.

Speaking of being snuck up on, I refuse to showcase any of my porcelain dolls in my house. They are out in boxes in the garage and that's where they will stay until I sell them on EBay. Even the collector's edition doll that my grandmother left me in her will. I don't care. These little demons will get no mercy from me.

Let me tell you a story.

My brother, who is 8 years older than me, once had a clown doll. He loved to squeeze the belly of this doll, which caused an eery, echoey laugh that haunted me in my sleep. He loved to sneak up behind me when I was alone and squeeeeeeeaaaaaze. I can't say that I blame him, for the reaction that he witnessed was the same every time: a high-pitched scream and crying.

Is this the reason for my irrational fear of dolls?

No, my friends. There is much more to this story. Quit interrupting me and I'll get to it.

So, the years went on and the clown joke kind of faded as I got older. Mind you, I was always afraid of that stupid clown, but I just had too much pride to admit it. So the day came when my brother packed the clown away in a box to give to the Salvation Army. I was so relieved. I watched the clown being placed in the box, and a weight was lifted from my chest as I realized that I never again had to hear that shrill laugh.

Several weeks later, I came home from school to a very angry brother.

"What the hell?! Why did you do that? How did you do that?"

"Do what?" I asked. I thought maybe he found out that I'd gone through his room, again, while he wasn't home. I always found the best stuff in there.

"That stupid clown! Why did you take it out of the Salvation Army box? And stick it in my closet?"

"What? I didn't! What are you talking about"

"And how did you get it to laugh again? It's been broken. That's why I was giving it away."

"No. Is it really in there?"

At this point, I followed him to his room, where, lo and behold- the clown is sitting in his closet. With that sick smirk on its face.

My brother picks it up, and it laughs.

"Huuuaaaaaaahhh. Huuuuuuaaaahhhh. Ha-ha-ha-ha..."

It sounded creepier to me than ever before.

"Yeah, it sounds broken. It's all slow sounding and creepy," I said. "But I promise, Chris, I didn't do it."

"Really? That's so weird. Well, I guess we just can't get rid of this thing."

He threw it over to me, where I reluctantly caught it, setting it off yet again. I turn it over to see if something's wrong with the electrical.

Sure enough. No batteries.

I'm not joking. No batteries.

I will never buy a doll for my children. I don't care if it pees itself or cries for its momma. I will decapitate it. I will. I will stab it with a dang knife while it's eyes blink for mercy. As far as I'm concerned, they are all Chucky's offspring.

You know what else I show no mercy for? Televisions. I have not owned a television. Ever. I have never bought one, and the only reason there is one in my house right now is because Mark just brought his in from storage. And it has never once been turned on because we don't have cable so we will only use it for dvd viewing and we don't have a dvd player so we watch movies on our computer, which I believe is entirely friendly and non-poltergeist possessed. But I'll be honest, I still don't trust the thing. I wouldn't be surprised if I came home one day to fuzzy static. And let me show you what I would do to either of them if that ever happened:

Because poltergeists can't talk through a pile of glass.

As for the movie The Exorcist, I won't speak of my fears surrounding that. Or my experience. I won't do that to you and I won't do that to me. Besides, they say fear gives it more power.

I'm going to take a quick break to read scriptures. Excuse me.

Ok. Much better.

So, to sum this post up, I guess I pretty much just realized last night that not everyone checks the front door a bazillion times before bed, as well as the closets and the laundry room. Not everyone insists on being wrapped in a cocoon by their sheets, with strict attention to the feet. Not everyone alternates between thinking it's best to just close their eyes, wait- no it's not, I should keep them open, no, because I'll never get to sleep. But how can one sleep in a time like this....?!

I digress.

Happy Halloween.

The Good for the Bad

2008-10-17T14:47:00.000-07:00

I had previously posted a negative post making fun of someone. I thought it was funny, but as the day went on I kept feeling worse about it. I decided that it's better to post positive things than negative things. So I want to post this poster instead.

If you are able to attend, it would help NieNie.

*Dear God,

2008-10-16T11:10:00.000-07:00

*Excerpt from my Love, Angie blog.

Dear God,

Why did you make people homosexual?

You did, didn't you?

Can you overnight your reply? There's an election coming up real soon.

Thanks.

Say hi to Aunt Liz for me. Both of them- meaning Mark's also.

K. Thanks again.

Love,

Angie

Dear God,
Scratch that last letter. I've figured it out, thanks to this guy.

Next question:

Why did you create the soy bean?

Thanks.

Love,

Angie

Vegans are Smarter

2008-10-14T19:21:00.000-07:00

I've decided that vegans are smarter. They must be. They've figured out how to make baked goods without eggs and butter that don't collapse in the oven. I can't do that. I tried. And it doesn't work. I made cupcakes tonight with coconut oil instead of butter, congealed flax seed meal instead of eggs, and I even substituted agave nectar for the sugar and used equal parts almond flour to regular flour. I added more of the dried ingredients to make up for the agave nectar. The batter tasted amazing. I was so excited to brag all about my wonderful creation on this blog tonight.

But, alas, I have cupcakes that are burnt on the outside and mushy on the inside. They are greasy and they look very, very sad- like they're slouching and hanging their head in shame.

Poor cupcakes.

Maybe some advice is in order? Any vegans out there? Anyone smart at least?

I figure we need a lighter post today. You can't get lighter than cupcakes. That is, unless they're so heavy that they sink. Hmmmm...

Another Political Post- Prop. 8

2008-10-13T14:11:00.001-07:00

I've become quite the politician over the last few days, in large part to your great comments. Thank you so much. I've had some tasty morsels to ponder. I think my brain really does have teeth. Or at least if feels like it. Have you ever woken up after a night of grinding your teeth? Well, that's about how my brain feels after all of this thinking.

I do want to share my stance on Prop 8, because it's one that I've thought long and hard about. I'll just cut and paste a comment I made on a friend's thread about the subject:

Erin, I just want to interject and reply to your question of why Mike thinks marriage is an institution of "the church." The truth is that I do not see any secular argument for Prop. 8. There really is not one argument that is credible that does not include God. All non secular arguments sound ignorant and homophobic to me. I'll be honest, I've had a really hard time with this one, even being Mormon, as you can read in a letter I wrote to a gay friend which I posted on my blog: http://angielovesu.blogspot.com/2008/09/dear-drew.html

I struggle with Prop. 8 mostly because I don't believe in telling people what to do. Even our church stresses the importance of agency in letting people choose what God deems as right and wrong, so why limit people's choices by law? It's very hard for me to understand, because I do also agree with Don:

"On the other hand, it would be trivial to argue that violent

criminals and child molesters should not be raising kids. We

really should be voting to ban those marriages involving

those people first, if what we really cared about was proving

ideal families for children."

People are people, and people's personalities are not dictated solely by their sexual preference. There are plenty of heterosexuals that are unfit to raise children by *popular standards, and many homosexuals unfit to raise children by popular standards. The opposite is also true. However, I believe that regardless, it is beneficial for children to have a female and male parent for many reasons, but that boils down solely to my religious beliefs, which I have a right to.

I've heard the argument that there shouldn't be so much focus on the issues of childbearing in the discussion of Prop. 8, as not every couple decides to bear or adopt children. My explanation of that is that one of the main concerns that religious people have about this scenario is that, even if the majority of gay marriages were childless, it would still create more homosexual examples in society, therefore establishing homosexuality as a norm. And the reason this is perceived as problematic boils down, again, to the children issue: Religious couples don't want raise their children in a world that does not uphold their views.

I have often thought that it is controlling to limit others by establishing laws that are based on views that only reflect one party's beliefs. What about all the other beliefs out there?

So the real issue I have with Prop. 8 is this: Do I, being Mormon, have a right to impose laws on others to confine them to a belief system that they do not share?

But after much thought I've concluded that I believe this:

I believe in a democracy. I do not believe in anarchy, so I believe that society benefits from the organization, safety, and development that results from laws. Each law is based on a system of beliefs. This country happens to be founded on Christianity. Other nations/countries are founded on other belief systems, so their laws are different. I think the best way to come up with laws that are effective in a given society is to vote according to your particular beliefs. This does not mean that a person should believe that their particular belief system deserves more respect than any other. It just means that you are representing your theology for consideration for the final word. I am not imposing my belief system on another person by giving my opinion at the polls. I support the right for all different theologies to be expressed at the polls, no matter how much I disagree with it. That is how we create a balanced society: the majority rules and the minority can eventually become the majority by convincing more people to join them. When the minority want to raise their children in a society that shares their values, they either move to a place where their values are practiced (hello, Provo!) or they cut their losses and homeschool I guess. It just happens to be that right now I am the majority, but when/if the time comes that society no longer shares my views, it's my responsibility to teach my children what I'd like for them to learn, then send them off to the world to choose for themselves.

So, yes, I'm voting for Prop. 8. And I hope everyone who believes strongly about it should vote also. That way the outcome will be an accurate reflection of what our nation stands for. Someone has to loose out either way, but that's the price we pay for being able to live in a nation that will do the service of protecting certain freedoms on your behalf. Even communal hippies have to give up some freedoms to be part of the pack. Life isn't fair I guess!

*popular standards meaning what the current laws state as abuse, not based on theological standards.

Confession of a Politically Ignorant Woman

2008-10-11T11:42:00.000-07:00

I try to never discuss politics with anyone other than my husband and my immediate family. This is true for a few different reasons:

First, my fear of sounding stupid. The truth is, I know there are some die-hards out there who follow politics more than I do. I pretty much get everything I know off of Drudge Report. I don't have a television and I don't buy the paper. Mark seems to pick up a lot of information from class discussions, so I get a lot of second-hand information that way.

Second, I hate disagreeing with people. This goes back to my fear of confrontation. I don't like to cause ripples in the water. I'd rather just keep silent and smile than start a potential heated discussion with a stranger or acquaintance. Sometimes even with a close friend. Essentially, I'm a coward.

The sad thing is, I hate people like me. I mean, I don't necessarily love when people throw their beliefs in people's faces either, but there's a balance that I'd like to achieve. I would like to be the kind of person who feels comfortable having an educational discussion about politics. One where I am not afraid to be proved wrong, and I'm also not afraid to attempt to prove someone else wrong. It shouldn't be about winning anyway, but instead about educating. Of course, it takes two humble people to participate in that kind of discussion, and sometimes it just comes to a difference of beliefs or opinions.

This whole subject has come to the surface for me, of course, because of the presidential election. I seriously have no idea who to vote for. I was raised in a democrat home, and I've always voted democrat across the board. That's so embarrassing for me to admit- that I've always been a lemming. The last three years, though, since my conversion to the LDS church, I've been reevaluating my beliefs on a lot of things, including politics. I've developed a lot of conservative opinions, of course, due to my new religious take on life. Some people might see that as a continuation of my lemming ways, but I can honestly say that I've weighed out issues in my mind more than ever before. The problem is, though, that I can see both sides to almost every issue. And it seems that there's always more information to consider that changes the overall outcome of an issue. I feel like I could spend months just learning about one thing. It's so easy to just look at the styled position of a candidate's proposition, but when you lift and dig a bit, there is always another thing lurking underneath.

Sorry I'm talking so vaguely about all of this. That's probably a bit annoying. The thing I'm really trying to get at is that I'm not sure who I'm voting for and I'm frustrated. I don't care about political party anymore. I want to vote for someone who will:

1. Get us out of the financial crisis, without letting the people who caused it get away scott free, and without making us pay for their mistakes by raising taxes and cutting programs that make a difference in our communities. (This makes me want to vote for Obama.) However, will the tax cuts that Obama boasts about just move money from a productivity pool to a consumption pool? (This makes me want to vote for McCain.)

2. Know how to reestablish good relations with other nations. A lot of this is going to be determined, I believe, with how we proceed with Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Russia. Is that too broad of a statement? Anyhow, I am split on this one. McCain is experienced, but what does that matter if he carries things out the same way Bush has? But does Obama really know what he's doing? I was horrified that he announced that he would be willing to attack inside Pakistan with or without approval from the Pakistani government at the debate on national television. I understand that he means attacking al Qaeda and Taliban areas, but threatening President Pervez Musharraf on live television before he's even president and without meeting with him or meeting with congress...essentially just spouting off his mouth is so destructive. That's not the way to establish a good relationship.

3. Protect my religious values, which include an anti-abortion belief and a belief in marriage as a one woman, one man party. With pointy hats and a lot of noisemakers. That was so lame.

4. Healthcare. I don't exactly know how this one should go. I need to spend less time blogging and more time researching this. All I know is that I want healthcare, and I'd like to be able to afford it please. The $5000 refundable tax credit sounds good, but this makes me wonder. But is Obama's plan for more government involvement in healthcare a good thing? I really like that he wants to outlaw insurance discrimination against people with pre-existing conditions (my husband had cancer, so this would be great). Really, I'm just going to stop talking about this one because I'm just rambling about things I don't know very much about.

5. Education. I don't know much about each of their plans on this, but I know that I want better education for our country. That sounds lame. I should run for Miss America.

Just another note on this one: I'm planning to homeschool my children. I don't know that education in our country will ever be good enough for me to trust them with my children.

6. National Security. Again, I don't know what I'm doing here. But I just want to be safe. Like a bug in a rug.

Ok, so now that I've come out of the closet as ignorant, feel free to comment. I love links. I would especially love to hear about who you are voting for and exactly why. I want details.

Anyone?

My Dream House

2008-10-02T11:24:00.001-07:00

Here is my Dream house. Find out more about it by watching these youtube videos:
Part One and Part Two.

*Picture taken from Apartment Therapy.

Head Cold

2008-10-02T10:59:00.001-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted much lately. The truth is that I have been posting, but just to my Love, Angie blog. I guess I've just had a lot to get off my chest lately.

I'm sick right now. With a cold that makes me sneeze about 30 times a day. I usually really like sneezing. I've always felt it's kind of like an orgasm for the nose. But I guess you can get too much of a good thing because I don't care if I ever sneeze again as long as I live.

This post is pretty uninspired. Sorry. I'll try to turn it around...

The focus of my life lately has been decorating our apartment. We're trying to shed the Salvation Army/college-pad vibe. So far we've only bought a wall clock, two bookshelves, and some black spray paint, but it's already starting to come together. I was on my friend's blog, is.ly, where I was introduced to some inspiring decor sites: Apartment Therapy and Design Sponge. Now Mark has two more reasons to have to pull me away from the computer.

Ok, well I'm going to be late for my sewing class. Sorry this post is so pedestrian. Blame it on medicine head.

More later...

New Blogs

2008-09-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

We are learning about freewriting in my Humanities class. I'm already familiar with it, as I've attempted the Artist's Way program numerous times, only to be defeated by my own lack of discipline. But when I was on a roll, I did my morning pages religiously and I can say that it did wonders for my writing and my creative thinking process. I love how freewriting just slams that inner-critic to the floor, leaving room for authenticity on the page. The critic can always come back in the form of an editor, but while producing he should just keep his mouth shut.

Inspired, I am now reinstating my morning pages in the form of a blog. No, it won't be public. That would defeat the purpose of course. I would like to say that I'm secure enough in myself to let the stream of consciousness publicly flow out of me, but I would be lying.

So, if this blog isn't going to be public, why am I telling you about it? To taunt you with the unattainable. No. Well... kind of.

Actually, I'm just rambling on. Maybe I'm doing a bit of freewriting as we speak. Or write. Or whatever. But the truth is that I wanted to let you know about another blog that I've started writing called Love, Angie. It's a place where I can let out the random things I'd like to say to random people. The posts are in letter format. I guess you could say that I have a problem with confrontation, so here's where I'm just going to let it all hang out. Real names will rarely be used, so if it sounds like I'm writing a letter to you, I probably am.

More later...

Flight of the Conchords Ep 3 Think About it

2008-09-18T20:31:00.001-07:00

Good Morning

2008-09-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

I am so excited about life right now! Do you see the time I'm posting at? Yes, it's the morning. And I'm functioning. I've actually been up since 6:50am, thank you very much. It's good to see the morning while it's still fresh and new. I'm so used to waking up at 10 or so, and then fumbling around like a zombie trying to get ready and then showing up somewhere late and exhausted. But now I have a 7am ballet class that wakes me right up, even if I did jog for an hour last night until 12am. By the way, bragging is fun.

Moving on, I started a post yesterday and it got erased. I don't want to try to recreate it again, so I'll keep this short and sweet. I made a friend. She's an artist. I have a crush. She is amazing and I love her work. You will too. Look:

Susan Krueger-Barber

See? Told you so. Visit her on the web here

To Delete or Not to Delete...

2008-09-15T14:51:00.000-07:00

Hello again. It's been a while. I've got a lot of excuses, but I won't even bother with them, as I'm sure I haven't really been holding up world progress. Who are "you" anyway? Just me, I'm assuming. I love how my habit of talking to myself is creeping over into my writing. Lovely. I'm feeling a strange connection to my dead grandmother about now. She had Alzheimer's the entirety of our acquaintance.

So I'm back in Utah. In school. In a basement apartment. Still married. I have a bike. My favorite zipper to my favorite jeans broke. I've made some shiny new friends. Mark still makes the bed into a taco at night. And I have Internet. That about sums the recent happenings.

Oh, and we went on a Zombie Bike ride on Saturday. That was fun. Here's a few pictures.

So today I visited this blog after many weeks of being away, and I felt strangely self-conscious. I almost deleted it and I still want to and I'm wondering why it was ever a good idea to post pictures of myself in daily outfits and give tours of my medicine cabinet. I'm thinking about all the people who stumble across this blog (all three of them...) and I'm blushing. I feel exposed. I feel dumb. I feel self-conscious.

The blogasphere is such a funny place. It's like a exhibitionist's party. Burning Man comes to mind. And it's so easy for people like me to peek through the crowd and observe it all. But vicarious living looses it's thrill quickly and the next thing you know, you're emulating. Inspired, you- or I, as it seems- find myself dancing on the table. And then the music stops...

Awkward moment.

So here is my awkward moment. Should I get down off the table? Should I creep back through the crowd and find a dark corner somewhere? Should I just leave altogether and go home to my white walls and the air-mattress that me and Mark sleep on because it creates more of a hill-valley scenario than a taco?

Nope. Next song, please. I've still got some dancing to do.

Favorite Beauty Products

2008-08-28T14:28:00.000-07:00

Since childhood, one of my guiltiest pleasures has been to search the bathrooms of my most beautiful friends and acquaintances (or their moms) for their beauty products. Yes, I know. How sneaky of me. But you do it too, don't you? The face and eye creams are usually in the medicine cabinet, the shampoo and conditioner in the shower of course, along with the face wash. The lotion under the sink. The makeup on the counter in its case.

Well, today I open my powder room to you. And since I'm a licensed cosmetologist and former makeup artist, you should be excited. Here's what you'd find in the...

Medicine Cabinet

Clinique All About Eyes Rich Eye Cream

Luxiva Lip Revive

Your lips will feel so soft, and your lipstick won't feather.

Luxiva Dual Action Eye Makeup Remover

Makeup comes off quick and easy.

Bobbi Brown Buffing Grains For FaceGentle but a great exfoliater. You can mix this with your face wash or just with water. I use it on my body sometimes also.

Chanel Precision Purete Ideale (Blemish Cream)

All the Chanel Precision products are divine, but I especially like this blemish cream because it won't over dry your skin. Also, it's a cream, not a gel, so it blends in just like a moisturizer so your makeup still glides on without getting cakey where the acne treatment was placed. And the best part: your pimple will be gone in a day.

La Mer Face Cream

This is my all-time favorite product. It's expensive, but worth every dollar. Your skin will be supple, even, and clear. It feels kind of greasy at first, but I promise you won't break out. In fact, it cleared up my skin. Maybe because dry skin ends up producing excess oil to compensate?

Under the Sink

Chi Silk Infusion

A must if you use any heat styling.

Icon Shine Spray

A great finishing spray to leave your hair looking shiny and soft. It also smells great. My husband always wants to smell my hair when I'm wearing it.

Redken PreArt

This is a clarifying treatment like no other. You apply it like you would apply color: in sections with a bottle. Then you cover your hair with plastic and process with heat (for best results) for 20 minutes. All the grime from your hair products, tap water, and the environment will be dissolved, leaving your hair looking shiny and with more volume then you've had in years. If you've never had a clarifying treatment, you seriously don't know what you're missing.

I don't know if you can buy this if you aren't licensed, but you can always call your hairdresser and ask her for a clarifying treatment. Request that she use PreArt.

Alba Coconut Lotion

Alba products are natural and paraben-free.

Sally Hansen
S.H. products are cheap in price, but not in quality. They work just as well or better than the more expensive hand and foot treatment products that I've tried.

Manicure in a MinuteExfoliating scrub that leaves hands soft.

18 hr. ProtectiveGreat moisturizer.

Cuticle PenThis is quite possibly the best manicure invention of all time. It transforms brittle, dry nails overnight. My nails could never grow before I found this lovely device. Now I have to make sure to trim them or I look like I have claws.

Pedi EggIf you've never tried this, go right now to the store and buy it. They sell it at Bed Bath and Beyond. It will leave your feet so soft. Take it from a chronic foot-picker. Gross, I know. Don't hate me.

Aztec Secret Clay and Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar

Absolutely the best facial mask ever. Mix equal parts clay to a half and half mixture of the cider and hot water, then smooth it on your face about 1/4" thick and let dry completely. It could take up until an hour, but it usually takes about 30 min. It sucks everything out of your pores. If you have really dry or sensitive skin, this might not work for you. I'd do a patch test. Oh, and the cider smells awful. You've been warned.

Psylliam Husk and Bentonite Clay

You're thinking, what the heck is this stuff? Well, something you should know if you don't already is that beauty starts with health. Acne is a sign of toxicity. So is puffy eyes, bloating, and a pale or lackluster complexion. Healthy skin glows, and health starts with your personal exercise and food habits. Unless you're some kind of perfect person, which if you are I hate you by the way, then you have eaten something less than healthy in your life. Cleansing, drinking lots of water to flush out toxins, and exercising helps you recover from that. Every now and again I will cleanse, and this is what I use to do it. Research cleanses and see what works for you.

In the Shower

Redken Smoothdown Hair Products (Shampoo, Conditioner, Leave-in Smoother)

The best hydrating products I've found for my wiry, Italian mane.

Pureology Hydrocure Hair Mask

Origins Cream Bar (For face)I have combination oily/dry skin, sensitive to breakouts when using oily products. I used to use Burt's Bee's Lettuce Soap, and it worked very well until I moved to Utah and the dry weather dried my skin out. The Cream Bar has more moisture and dissolves all your makeup. When I run out of eye makeup remover, I will just remove my eye makeup with this and it does a fine job.

Alba Shave Cream

This will give you the softest, smoothest shave ever. Your skin will feel like it doesn't even need lotion when you get out of the shower. The only thing is that you have to use this stuff very sparingly and rinse your razor often because it's thick and will clog your razor. But it's worth it.

Makeup Case
I have so many things floating around in here that I don't even use, don't you? But there are a few staples that I keep regularly stocked:

Foundations:

Cargo Oil Free FoundationNo break-outs. Thin but good coverage. I like this for the winter.
Bare Minerals Foundation and Bronzer

No break-outs. Perfect for summer when you have a tan but just want a little coverage.

Merle Norman Total Finish

This can make you break out, so I don't suggest it for everyday. However, it provides amazing coverage that looks natural. You're face will look flawless. I love this for special occasions.

Merle Norman Cover-Up

Blends perfectly. Perfect under the eyes after eye cream. If you have dark circles, buy one with a yellow base, or they even have one that is just solid yellow. They also have a green one to mix with your cover-up or foundation for red spots. Perfect for rosecea.

Luxiva Lasting Cheek Color in Virtual Pink

Luxiva Eyeshadow in Bare, Hazel, Sapphire, Ebony, and Ramblin Rose

Luxiva Cream Liner

Make sure you never get your brush wet before you use because it messes up the consistency of the liner.

M.A.C. Eyeshadow in Dazzlelight and Bare Minerals Glimmer in Nude Beach

These are my favorite highlighters.

Do you have any tried and true beauty products that you don't mind sharing? What are your staples?

Life

2008-08-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

Today my heart is heavy. Mark and I received news that there has been a tragic death in the family, one that had no warning and happened in a way that feels so unnatural and leaves us all wondering why.

I was not very close to this person, but I had the oppertunity to spend a small amount of time with her and was able to witness why her survivors are so grieved. She had a free spirit and a lovely laugh. She was a mother and a wife. She is missed terribly.

Sometimes life just hits you so quick and hard. It's hard to remember to savor what you have. It's so easy to feel that your joys are lackluster. Why does it so often take losing them to recognize their sparkle?

I just got a text from a friend informing me that she's having a baby boy.

Life. It's really something, isn't it? It'll give you whiplash if you're not careful. And sometimes even if you are careful.

Sweet Legs

2008-08-21T00:07:00.000-07:00

I've been obsessed with leg-wear lately since I found a group on Flickr called Fashion My Legs. Here's a tasty treat from the snack bowl:

I feel bad that I didn't cite any of these, but I was like a kid in a candy shop and I just couldn't slow down enough to pay for my goodies before they went in my mouth. If you recognize your legs (or your photos) just let me know and I'll cite it for you or delete it all together.

Thanks Erica...

2008-08-15T17:18:00.000-07:00

1. Add a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments. I can't wait to see what people remember.

Random Mumblings

2008-08-15T15:35:00.000-07:00

Artist crush of the day: Elsita.
She makes me want to weave art into the trees, the sky, the grass, my hair, my heart. Every time I read her blog I am amazed that some people can be so freely and instinctively creative. She breathes art. She makes characters out of foliage and universes out of paper. I would rather be her than a pink unicorn who eats candy for dinner. Really, I would. Art is yummier than candy.

She is Cuban-born. Some of her work:

Artworks
Missing Garden

From the series "Second Nature"

Porcelains

Her Moleskine
Watering an Idea

Toys
Baby Dali

Elefante

Julian

Angelita

Illustrations
Expecting

The Lesson

Bites

Paper Sculptures and Papercuts
Tree House

Secret Anatomy of a Young Girl

Unnamed

Unnamed

Jewelry Clothing Dollhouses Frida Kahlo's Studio

Plant CreationsCelina

Lizette

Rossetta

And the best part is that she has an etsy store! Here's the link: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5118597

Speaking of eating, today I feel like sharing some fun food-related times I've had this summer. Mostly because the pictures are on my cellular phone and I'd like to free up some space on it.

Baking a "Cheesecake" with my friend Erin for one of her friend's birthday. She really likes Tillamook Cheddar I guess.

Erin decided to add all kinds of random things in the store-bought cake mix. Sour cream. Cream cheese. Food coloring to make it cheddar-cheese-orange.

We also made a "pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey" game for the party. I drew the donkey, thank you very much. And yes, I'm sure it's not an armadillo. It's a donkey through and through.

Me and my friend Nikki making dinner for the boys. Lemon-Rosemary Chicken, Corn Chowder, Apricot/Walnut/Feta Salad with Lemon Garlic Vinaigrette. And Nikki's famous Chocolate-Raspberry-Salt Cake (heh heh. Inside joke.) It all turned out amazing.

Really yummy stuffed pork chops I made a bit ago.

Pizza is always a favorite at my house. We got a pizza stone for a wedding present and I've used it a bazillion times.

Well, this was random.

More later...

Transcendence

2008-08-15T00:03:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was listening to my husband play his guitar, which by the way is one of my favorite things to do. But while he was randomly playing around with lyrics and ideas, my mind stilled and I found myself happy. And then I found myself trying to trace the thread, the way I always do when I find myself somewhere and I forget how I got there. And, of course, that is always counterproductive unless you're writing a paper and you need to cite some information. But I'm not writing a paper. I'm feeling a moment. And that means you just stay right where you're at.

Somewhere in this process I started to think about beliefs and how profoundly they effect our experience of life. They are like wallpaper and our brains are our bedrooms. They color the walls and give our living space it's ambiance. We wake up every morning unaware of the feelings we're used to feeling just like we overlook the chipped paint.

A person's whole happiness can be seriously injured by a single belief. Like, "A size 10 is not and will never be beautiful." Or, "I am only safe when someone cares for me." Or, "I can't trust anyone but myself." Or "Only perfection is acceptable." Or how about, "I am the sum of my (beauty, intelligence, talent, ability to make someone laugh, ect.)"

Sometimes these beliefs are written all over a person. Do you ever notice that? Do you notice anything written on you?

I do.

Some beliefs I'd like to snip right off:

I am the sum of my ability to create something beautiful.
I am the sum of my ability to make someone love me.
It's not ok to be sub-par at anything.
"Special" means better than anyone else.

And those are just the ones I feel comfortable sharing on the blog, but there's a lot more where that came from, friends.

What are some of yours?

Let's free ourselves.

Cracked paint image from randibeeman's flickr photo stream: http://www.flickr.com/photos/randibeeman/409379054/

Throwing sand image from Placid Casual's flickr photo stream: http://flickr.com/photos/placid_casual/205968159/

Amazing.

2008-08-12T13:34:00.001-07:00

http://learningtoloveyoumore.com

Stages

2008-07-31T20:28:00.000-07:00

I received a request a while ago from Shannon for pictures of my various fashion stages. Unfortunately, my pictures are stored in my mother's garage in California. I did come across some photos, though, and I'll share what I have. Prepare yourself for some teen angst.

Punk Stage

Poppy-Punk Stage

Brunette Tomboy Stage

70's Roller Girl Stage

All-Black, Anti-Fashion Stage

Vintage Goth Stage

Drew Barrymore Stage

?

I don't have pictures with me of my hippy stage, rave stage, preppy stage, skater stage, swing-dance stage (vintage 40's and 50's dresses) or my cindie Lauper/Madonna stage (neon, lace, crinolines, fishnets, etc.) I'll have to update this post when I get my pictures back.

Cool Site Alert

2008-07-31T18:47:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I love DIY anything. That's why I can spend hours on this website: http://www.instructables.com

You can learn how to do anything from sewing to making pancakes to making a nightlight. This site is perfect for post-wisdom teeth extraction laziness.

Excuse me while I learn how to make a ChapStick LED Flashlight.

Extraction

2008-07-30T20:55:00.000-07:00

Two Words: Wisdom Teeth

My New Best Friend:

Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner:

[Homeade Potato Soup (Thanks Cindy!), processed in Blender.]

Yummy...?

Cat Adopts Rabbit

2008-07-19T14:10:00.001-07:00

"The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together..." Isaiah 11:6

Is it already happening???

Thanks, Cute Overload.

Words

2008-07-18T14:59:00.000-07:00

I am falling more and more in love with Portland every day. Gone are the days of grey, rainy skies. The sun has been blessing us with blue skies a clear view of the lush, green landscape. Portland is a city that is full of life. I've often told Mark over the last month that if I could create a dream city from my mind's imaginings, Portland would be it:

Quirky architecture?

Check.

A thriving music and art scene?

Check.

Ample parks intermingled within the heart of the city?

Check.

An active bike scene?

Check.

Lively craft and farmer's markets, a protective and lively environmental community, a gourmet chocolate-only cafe, a late-night dimly-lit pretentious restaurant located under a bridge that serves everything from alligator to a flaming (yes, it comes with a torch made out of tinfoil) chocolate dessert, a zoo, a Japanese Garden, and organic food in virtually every restaurant?

CHECK!!!

I'm telling you, Mark is going to have to bludgeon me over the head and pull me out of here. I never want to leave.

Wednesday night we went to Tea Zone, which is a lovely cafe/venue, to see Karli Fairbanks perform. Sadly, I only caught the last song, and Mark missed the whole set as he was meeting me there and ended up getting off work late. The song was performed beautifully and I was surprised to learn that she was just as good live as on her recordings. Although it's hard to choose, I think "Down the Line" is my favorite of her songs. But the more I hear the others the more I fall in love.

The headlining act of the night was Amy Seeley. She was absolutely amazing. "Beloved" and "New York" brought me to tears. The first time that has ever happened at a show. Her stage presence was so vulnerable yet dignified.

Courageous.

Beautiful.

P.S. Thanks Kevin Wagoner for the lovely photo of the air tram.

Nothing Cuter Than A Baby Red Panda

2008-07-10T19:49:00.001-07:00

In love.

My Oath, and Hair Fruit

2008-07-10T16:38:00.000-07:00

Today I got up at a late hour that I will not disclose due to embarrassment. Mark and I watched "New World" last night, which we didn't start until midnight. As always, Mark fell asleep and I stayed up to see the ending. The movie, by the way, was slow and droned on and on. Everything about it was lackluster. And it's always fun to watch a 15 year old prance around in a piece of cloth and become the love interest to men in their thirties. Lovely.

So now, due to sleeping in, I have the guilties that I had spoken of before. I always get them when I'm not contributing anything to life. I missed so many opportunities to do so much this morning- I could have gone to the gym, made breakfast for me and my husband, made his lunch so we could save money and so he wouldn't support his fast-food habit (yuck!), read my scriptures, cleaned the house, finished laundry, etc. Yes, I know, I can still accomplish much of these things in the remaining hours of the day, but the point is that I could have fit in more. I often wonder how successful my life would be if I used every day to it's fullest. I know that I could accomplish more in one day, if I used every hour efficiently, than I do now in a week. That's really exciting to think about. I know that the successful people of the world have already realised that and applied the knowledge to their lives.

I've had the opportunity to work with a few very successful people in my life. I've acted as assistant to two of them, and I found that they both had so much in common in the way they structured their lives. Well, just the word "structure" says a lot already. But what I observed was that they both had a clear sense of their priorities and were willing to be disciplined to uphold the importance of them in their lives. They would often be challenged to place another priority above their goal, but they were always sacrificing to obtain the goal. They used tools like daily planning and time management to keep their priorities in order. It was the importance that they placed on the priority- the mental ability to keep it in focus- that allowed them to react in a way that supported their goals. You can't fool your mind- you have to really believe in something for your mind to order the action to obtain it.

So, what does that have to do with me waking up late? Well, I've noticed that I say I want alot of things, but I only act in a way to support some of what I say I want in life. Of course, I want to get adequate sleep. But what do I want more, to sleep in or to be a good help-meet to my husband by waking up and making breakfast? Or starting my day off right and going to the gym with him? Well, I say I'd rather have the latter two, but obviously I don't. Presently, I must admit to myself that my desire to sleep is more than these other desires. So I've decided that I have to make that mental switch to align my desires with what I say my goals are. So I'm doing that. Right now. This is such an big part of #6 of my list, and I'm excited to be making progress on it. So I want to publicly make an oath:

I, Angie Sorenson, will uphold by goal of waking up early with my husband by reinforcing the desire to do so. When faced with the seduction of the sandman (that adulterous swine!) I will choose the joy of spending time with my husband and accomplishing my goals. I will not give in to the pain of exhaustion, but will let my goals prevail.

And, hopefully, I will get more sleep.

Angela Sorenson

Well, now that we have that out of the way, I want to comment on last night's breakdance lesson. It was so much fun. I was so scared that I would be the oldest one there, but when I showed up I found that the class consisted only of me and three other women, all in my age group! I was ecstatic. The teacher said that there is usually more people that come, including a 13 year old, but I don't care if the rest of the class consists of five year olds, all I needed was one person to relate to and I got three!

I have to say, though, that I'm pretty sore today. It's really a workout. We learned a lot for one day, which I think is great. I'm so excited for the next lesson. Oh, and the teacher told us about a club where the b-boys and girls go every Friday night, so me and the rest of the girls are planning to go. It should be fun.

Well I feel like I should get dressed now. I spend most of my time these days inside in sweats, or if I go out it's usually just to the pool. I'm feeling like such a scrub lately, but I figure that I don't really need to be fabulous when attending the local pool. I would feel embarrassed to be fabulous there. I'd feel like Goldie Hawn in "Overboard" before she looses her memory. I'll leave the hair fruit and gold medallion earrings to the movie stars and the elderly.

Ok, well I'm going to try to salvage my day and clean my house. More later...

Striped Shorts are all the Rage

2008-07-08T20:11:00.000-07:00

As you probably read below, I'm starting to work on #6 of my list. Anybody who knows me well knows that I've wanted to learn how to breakdance for years. I even ordered two instructional DVDs at one point, but I only watched them once and gave up because I didn't have a place to practice. I've been all talk for a long time, and I'm sick of it. So, I finally posted a request for breakdancing instructors on yelp.com, an online community review website. Within a few days, somebody referred me to Marco, who teaches at a community center here in Portland. Tomorrow night is my first class. I'm kinda stressin.

I've decided to post daily pictures of what I'm wearing like the fashion bloggers do. The only difference is that the girls who post their daily wear on their blogs are doing it to share their genius style with the rest of the web. I, on the other hand, am doing it to humiliate myself into better style. I've always loved those makeover shows ("What Not To Wear" is the best) and I guess I'm emulating the "before" pictures. So here is my first:Ok, so to my defense, let me explain that I was hanging out at the pool and I just wanted to throw something on over my bathing suit. But, I have to admit, I do look like a junior high kid. I doubt many 28 year olds have these pieces in their wardrobe. Especially 28 year olds that say they are inspired by classic style icons like Audrey Hepburn and Jackie O. No, probably not.

So, question. How does one morph into a stylish gal when one's closet is full of clearance items from Ross, Rave, Forever 21, and Zumies? I guess I have put fashion on the back burner because I thought that it was vain to care so much about what you look like. I used to spend money like crazy on clothes when I was in high school, but I gave that up when I moved out on my own and met Bill. Bill showed up in the form of rent, a cell phone, medical expenses, and car insurance. And, although I was never in love with Bill, I knew that he always had to come first.

Now I have a closet full of cheap clothes that make me look cheap. When I walk into a restaurant wearing this outfit, people do not think, "Wow, what a responsible girl. She has paid all her bills and has decided to shop at Ross." No, my friends. They think, "I don't think I can really take her seriously."

Let me say, though, that my style goal is not to look like I'm always ready for a job interview. I was the girl in high school who shopped the Delia's Catalogue and wore the rainbow knee socks. I still have that alternative spirit. I don't like ultra-conservative. I don't do L.L. Bean. I like fun, funky clothes that reflect my personality. But, I want it to be intentional and put together with class. Do you know what I mean? Do I need to post some examples? I'll work on that. Actually, that might be good research.

B-girl is a dance term, just in case you didn't know, Fool.

2008-07-08T18:49:00.001-07:00

"Ummm... Hi. Is this Marco?"

"Yeah."

"Hi, this is Angie. I called you about the breakdance lessons and you called me back and now I'm calling you back. Hi."
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"Hi."

"Umm. Do you have a second to talk?"

"Uh, like a quick second, yeah. What's up?"

"Well, I just have a few questions."
Swallow.
"Well, first of all, how much is your lessons?"
"Is" your lessons? "Are" you lessons! Gosh. Talk straight, Angie. Oh, wait, maybe it's cool to talk like that. Eb0nics, right? Maybe I could work in a "babymomma" somewhere.

"$35 for a 10 week course. If you just wanna drop in, $5 is cool."

"Wow, really affordable! That's so great."

"Yeah, I keep it affordable."

"Ok, and another question I have is if it's a beginning class. I mean, are there any beginning breakdancers in your class or are they all experienced?"

"Oh, definitely. Most of them are beginners. You won't find us spinning on our heads yet."

??????????????
"Oh, good. And what about age? Are most of the students teenagers?"

"Well, we have a 13 year old in the class. But we also have older dancers too."

"Oh. I'm 28. Is that ok?"
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"Yeah. I just turned 29."

Yeah. But you're the teacher.
"Oh. Good. Well, then I guess I'll see you tomorrow night. Thanks."

"Cool. And don't worry about it. I'm not trying to train professional b-boys and b-girls here. Nobodies walking in here all decked out and actin' cool."

"Oh, good, because I won't be doing that either. I'm just a Mormon housewife and I just really want to learn how to dance."
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

"....Uh, cool. Well, see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah. See you then. Bye!"
I want to die.

Embarking... THE LIST

2008-07-04T00:30:00.000-07:00

First off, I just want to present my current musical crush: Lykke Li. I discovered the Swedish songstress on a lovely blog called FinnFlair. Take a few minutes to slurp in the videos below.

Now I'll get right to it. I haven't written in a few days because I've started to wonder if I've taken on a project larger than I had originally realized. I've been brainstorming the last day or so about the exact direction this blog should go in, and I've become a bit overwhelmed. To be honest, I am a bit of a perfectionist and I usually abandon projects if I find I can't execute them to my standards. Knowing this about myself, I want to make sure I don't do that same thing in regards to this blog. So I've decided to make a list.

A list of what, you ask?

A list of style goals. And, again, I do not mean to cheapen the word "style" by reducing it to wearables. Style is, to me, everything that embodies a person's life. It's their life-footprint. Their expression of self. Style extends beyond the closet, into the kitchen, living room and garage. Style is the food a person eats and how they prepare it. It's a choice of friends and conversation. It's a book, a plant, a couch, a utensil. It's a choice of belief and desire.

When you view style the way I do, as infinite variables, you might be able to relate to my feeling of panic. Where do I start? Well, I don't know for sure, but I thought that making a list of what I'd like to do/improve in my life was a good start. So here it is:

Determine once and for all what my clothing style is. This process includes a more concerted effort to evaluate all possible genres of style, while being aware of how practically each genre fits into my lifestyle. Further, I need to make some clear-cut boundaries in regards to what I deem appropriate for my age and stage in life.
Become more eco-friendly.
Learn and practice healthy and delicious eating habits.
Improve my vocabulary.
Improve my public speaking/social networking skills.
Integrate music and art into my everyday life. This includes finally following my heart and beginning to create again, as well as learning more about and participating in music and art scenes.
Decorate my home. And I don't mean with framed prints and couch-covers. I feel I'm ready to commit to a few luxury items, at least, if they are in the form of design staples. An original peice of art or a couch in a bold color is worth the splurge.
Create and follow a routine. I am blessed to be a lady of leisure, but my lack of structure sometimes leaves me bored and unfulfilled, with a bad case of the guilties.
Make a fitness goal and stick to it.
Strive to be a great wife to my husband.

So there it is. I know that there's more where that came from, but this is a suitable start.

Lykke Li - Dance Dance Dance

2008-07-04T00:06:00.001-07:00

Lykke Li - I'm Good, I'm Gone

2008-07-04T00:05:00.001-07:00

Little Bit

2008-07-03T23:50:00.001-07:00

Addicting.

First Post

2008-06-30T18:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I figure I'll finally post something. I have had the hardest time getting myself to write on this blog because I usually just write on me and Mark's Maywrage blog. I had a blog that I used to post random musings, but I erased it because it felt more like a diary to me and I thought, hmmmm... maybe that's what diaries are for. So now I keep a diary.

So what about this blog? I keep stumbling upon fun blogs that are focused on a subject, and I really enjoy reading them. I especially love the arts and crafts blogs and the fashion blogs. I would love to say that I'm that creative or fashionable, but the truth is that I love reading those blogs because I lack those qualities in my life at the moment. I'm not saying that I'm not creative or that I don't have style, but those things have kind of taken the back-burner in my life as of late. I keep telling myself that it's just a priority thing, but sometimes I fear that it's an age thing. You know, I guess the cargo jeans that I paid over $100 for a few years back just aren't the thing anymore. I guess now it's the skinny jean thing, and the gladiator sandal thing, and the "I don't really care how I look" look that costs hundreds of dollars and new primping tools and skills to pull of oh-so-effortlessly.

I miss perms.

No, I'm not really that bad I don't think. But I do know that I've found myself at a new stage in my life that I'm excited about, but also unprepared for: Adulthood. Marriage. With the new title of "Wife," and my age quickly approaching 30, I feel a reassessment of my style is in order. And when I say "style," I don't mean just fashion style. I mean lifestyle. I am becoming aware that what I do and believe now is laying the foundation for what I do and become for the rest of my life, and also what I do as a parent, and also what my children will be subject to in their formative years. The choices I make become what I contribute to the world, and I've always wanted to believe that I could make a difference. So whether it be what I choose to find stylish, fabulous, and appropriate, or what I choose to read, or what I choose to spend my money on, or what I choose to do with my time, this blog will record my journey of self-discovery and development.

I'm excited to discover more about who I am and what I believe. Please feel free to leave comments, as I love hearing other people's opinions and experiences.

More soon...